


On Our Skin

by ca_te



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Hints at demisexual!Yuuri, Hints to sexual situations, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Soulmates Marks, pair skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9696323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: Yuuri’s heart has always been a quiet little thing and he was sure that his mark - those three dots aligned on his left collarbone - would remain unchanged. That’s until Victor stormed into his life.Written based on this prompt: Soulmate AU where everybody is born with a simple tattoo on their wrist. A circle, a straight line, a dot, etc. When you start interacting with your soulmate it starts getting more complex. Your first kiss, leaves grow. Your first time, flowers sprout up (source)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic spans through the totality of Season 1 and it is from Yuuri's POV, except for the epilogue.
> 
> A huge thank you to @hazelandglasz for having read it through. All mistakes are mine!

 

_ Eventually soulmates meet _

_ Because they have the same hiding place _

[R. Brault]

**_Prologue_ **

 

One, two, three. Three dots, perfectly aligned on his left collarbone. They have been there for as long as he can remember, unchanged. It doesn’t surprise him. His heart has always been a little weird thing. So quick to worry, so slow to warm up to people deep down, where it matters. 

It’s not that Yuuri doesn’t care about people, he does, and he is grateful, more often than not the pervasive gratitude of a thirsty man finding an oasis in the desert - always surprised that someone might deem him worthy of the attention. Romantic love, though, is a different story, an elusive one. 

Yuuri has seen it unfold around him many times - his parents, Yuko-chan and Takeshi-kun. You could always tell when love had blessed someone, if they were confident enough to let it show.

After Yuko-chan had kissed Takeshi-kun for the first time, the line on her ribs morphed into a flower stem, small leaves peppering her skin. He knows because Yuko-chan showed it to him one evening in the staff room of Hasetsu Castle. They were sixteen. Yuuri’s cheeks were on fire, but still he looked, studied the grey lines on his best friend’s skin. 

“I am happy for you, Yuko-chan”, he whispered in awe and she hugged him tight. “I had never dared to hope and yet...I can’t believe it!” she all but squealed.

They have grown up and Yuuri knows that surely Yuko’s mark has morphed with every step she has taken in her relationship with Takeshi. That is how it works, how your soul calls out to its half and shows the world what is happening in the hidden curves and creases of your heart.

If he has to be honest, Yuuri has never understood why it had to be such a visible process. Isn’t it embarrassing? What if nothing happens even though two people like each other? 

 

A heart is such a quiet, small thing - his own definitely is, Yuuri thinks. So easy to break and to scare. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t met the right person, yet. And even if he were to meet them, Yuuri is not sure how things could progress. Physical affection is...something his heart doesn’t compute, apparently. Touching, kissing, caressing - they are just words to him, in a sense. When he was a teenager he didn’t...crave them, as many other boys his age did. And as he grew up that need has never revealed itself.

Sometimes Yuuri thinks this might be why he loves skating so much. His heart feels at ease when he is on the ice, in the pull and flex of muscles, in the concentration, even in the tears of frustration and in the constant fear of never being good enough. It is him and he knows and respects himself. The rest, though, is uncharted territory and Yuuri keeps to his own, skating his way through dreams and fears, dots immutable. 

**

Victor’s mark is a perfect circumference right at the base of his neck. It is also ostensibly unblemished. Yuuri notices it the first day the Russian skater makes his appearance at his family’s onsen. It comes as a surprise that Victor, of all people on Earth still hasn’t found a match for his heart. It also makes him more human somehow. 

**

The first time they take a bath together Yuuri’s heart lodges in his throat. Of course many people have seen his mark, from Phichit to Yuko-chan, but under Victor’s gaze he feels bare deep down, where blood meets soul. 

He is acutely aware not only of his naked body, but most of all of those dots, burning through his skin. Stark black against the whiteness, for Victor to peruse. So far the Russian man has proven to be extremely willing to share tidbits of personal information - “do you like Minako-sensei?”, “have you ever had a girlfriend?”, “shall I tell you about my first girlfriend?” - Too much information and Yuuri doesn’t have anything to offer. 

“You do need to lose some weight, dear piglet. How would you land all those pretty jumps otherwise?”

Yuuri cringes, but he is also grateful because Victor hasn’t breached the topic of their unchanged marks. Victor’s fingers in his damp hair send a shock down his spine and Yuuri does his best not to scoot away as he usually does.

“You have something in you, Yuuri. Will you show it to me soon?”

Victor is too close, too demanding and Yuuri’s thoughts flutter around, worried. What is it that he is supposed to have inside? He’s just a 23 year old who loves skating but keeps failing at it, over and over, because he isn’t strong enough. A boy who has never kissed, and never touched anyone because it just hasn’t...come to him. 

“Victor…”

“No buts, Yuuri. I’m your coach remember?”

The absurd and undeniable truth of the statement reverberates through Yuuri, his mind still struggling to wrap around it. Victor Nikiforov, undisputable figure skating star, is going to be his coach. It’s no use denying that it is a child dream come true, but still Yuuri has the feeling that this could bring much more than expected.  
********

**_**_1- Awakening_ ** _ **

Victor stops in front of them and Yuuri feels like crying. It’s not just that the routine is technically challenging. The theme couldn’t be more alien to him, to the way he has skirted out of the orbit of physicality and sexual attraction all his life.

How is he supposed to channel something he has never been and probably never will be? 

_ Eros. _

Yuuri keeps rolling the word around in his mind, on his tongue, but the foreignness of it never decreases. Diligently, he practices multiple times a day, but he knows his performance lacks something solid and alive at its core.

The thought of the katsudon bowl is childish but it is something to hold onto to take time, to focus on this desperate search for something he has never comprehended. 

The challenge with Yurio is approaching hard and fast and it makes his heart weary. Even this fear is something he doesn’t know how to interpret. Is he scared of being left alone with the challenge of hiking his way up to the Grand Prix Final? No, that’s not it. He keeps practicing like an empty doll, Victor’s disappointment like a sword dangling over his head.

Yuuri is lying awake in his bed one night, when realization caresses his thoughts. It’s simple and it’s selfish, but the truth is he doesn’t want to let Victor go. 

If he keeps going on like this he will lose Victor, he will slip through his fingers whisked away to Russia. Yuuri is taken aback by how much the thought terrifies him. There is something in Victor, something that makes him think he can be saved. He is not ready to let it go, not yet. 

“So please watch me!”

As he skates that day there is no space left in Yuuri’s thoughts. There is only Victor and these feelings he doesn’t know how to name. The longing, the happiness, the fear - all jumbled together, entwined like a pair of hands. 

_ I know who I am skating for _ .

And it is like waking up after a deep slumber, like opening his eyes for the first time.   
  


**

Months speed past, six of them in tidy order like children on a playground. It is a whirlwind and if at first Yuuri struggles to keep up, by September he is finally going with the flow. 

He is changing, he can feel it. His thoughts do not tremble at the edges anymore. Sure, panic still flares up and he isn’t the most confident of people all the time, but he feels he has learnt how to tap into something that has been hidden for so long. It sustains him, it sets him free.

And he knows he has done the work, has pushed himself hard until the bubble he had build popped open, but he is also aware that he wouldn’t have been able to do it without Victor. He has said that much at that fated press conference. 

He had never in his life voiced his feelings so clearly. It was both scary and liberating. It also made him realize something - what Victor planted when he had arrived with April’s snow is growing. 

It’s in the tingling that spreads through his body when Victor looks at him, the soft trembling of his heart when Victor laughs and shares his free time with him, just walking through Hasetsu, or watching bad tv series. 

The thing is, all these feelings are like nothing Yuuri has ever felt before.  _ I don’t really have a name for that emotion but I’ve decided to call it “love”. _

He spent a whole night chasing down the right words for that speech, after the win at the  Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championship , after that hug...It had been unexpected and it had dislodged something inside of him. Like when you take a wooden block out of a pyramid and you watch it sway, hoping that it won’t fall and crash to the ground. 

Things between him and Victor are shifting and Yuuri knows that Victor is well aware of that too. The day he comes back after the press conference, he worries that the awkwardness of the beginning might spring back, widening a distance that he has worked so hard to breach. He is lying on his bed after a quick dinner - finally a katsudon bowl - slowly unwinding, when someone knocks on the door. Three soft knocks, something warm sloshes behind his sternum at the idea that by now he recognizes the way Victor announces himself.

“Come in.”

When he is at home Victor moves differently than when he is on the ice or in front of an audience, Yuuri has noticed - softer, as if he is aware of a frailty that other people don’t see.

“Feeling tired?”

Yuuri nods, the mattress dips under his back as Victor sits down. He holds his breath, not knowing where this conversation will go. He isn’t sure that he could voice his feelings again. 

“You did very well at the championship. Sure, there are things to improve, but...you did well.”

Victor’s tone of voice is gentle, smooth, like a lullaby. The praise tickles at Yuuri’s heart and he can’t help smiling. 

“Thank you…”

Victor’s hand over his comes as a surprise and everything stills inside of Yuuri.

“I am the one who should thank you, Yuuri. For what you said. Is that...is that how you feel?”

And really Yuuri has been expecting this, of course Victor wouldn’t let it slip. Indeed, he might have had the courage to blurt it all out exactly for that reason. He nods.

Victor hugs him gently, he smells of the onsen’s courtesy soap. It is the smell of home, Yuuri realizes as his heart dilates and his breath gets lost somewhere in his lungs.

**

Beauty is something Yuuri has always acknowledged but never truly understood.

When he was a kid, watching Victor winning his first World tournaments, Yuuri had thought the Russian boy looked pretty, all long silver hair and elegant lines. Growing up, he couldn’t deny how beautiful and graceful Victor continued to be. But all that beauty didn’t have consequences. It was simply was it was, like paintings and ancient sculptures.

As he grows closer to Victor, beauty becomes something  _ real _ . It is in Victor’s unguarded smiles, in his laughs. And it tugs at something inside of Yuuri, something unknown.

 

**_2-Walking on glass_ **

 

It goes by in a rush of clouds slipping by outside the plane’s window, warm Chinese restaurants and the cheers of the crowd booming under the ice palace’s roof. 

Yuuri is nervous, not used to coming in first, not used to the glaring lights and the weight of new expectations. Yuuri is also scared, the kind of fear that grows in the small hearts of children when they find themselves somewhere new and they are on their own.

In his hotel room, while getting ready for the free skating competition, Yuuri stands in front of the mirror and stares at those three dots. For the first time in his life, he wishes they could morph, he prays it might happen because of Victor.

The fear of losing him settles at the pit of his stomach, cold and sharp-edged. It cuts and cuts as the other skaters take the ice. Until Yuuri can feel it rushing through his veins along with his blood. He is grateful when Victor takes him away, guides him down to the carpark. However, he knows it is not enough, he needs Victor to reach deep down, where his small heart is, to take it into his hands and soothe it. But is it something he could reasonably ask out of a coach, a friend?  _ If he were to be my soulmate _ ...the thought buoys up unbidden and for that very reason so much stronger than before.

Victor’s words about quitting if he fails to qualify cut through his skin, his ribs, the tender tissue of his lungs, like a knife. Yuuri cannot feel his feet, his legs, routed to the spot, as anxiety snakes up his muscles. This can’t be. 

“If you mess up this free skate and miss the podium, I’ll take responsibility by resigning as your coach.”

Each word hits him with a different force, as though they are rocks thrown from several sides. All aiming straight at his heart. How can Victor not understand? After these months training together, Yuuri thought he had made it clear enough, the devotion, the worry of disappointing his coach. He isn’t one to use too many words; baring his heart doesn’t come easy to him, and yet, haven’t his soft enquiries, the effort he put in his training spoken loud enough? How can Victor be this blind?

It all comes out in a rush, like new water out of a spring, gurgling past.

“But this time I am anxious because my mistakes would reflect on you too! I have been wondering if you secretly want to quit.”

Yuuri’s lungs are burning, tears are warm down his cheeks and he is sure he has never been more exposed that this, down to his bones. It is humiliating. It is liberating. 

“Of course, I don’t…”

“I know!”

He all but shouts it, the words forcing their way past his lips. And to his surprise it is the truth. For the first time since Victor began coaching him, Yuuri knows that Victor is here for good, until the Grand Prix. This is not the kind of reassurance that he needs now. What he needs is for Victor to understand the roots of his feelings.

“Just have more faith than I do that I will win. You don’t have to say anything. Just stand by me!”

In the past Yuuri has often cried after competitions, the shame and the guilt etched deep in his weary heart after each loss. This is the first time he has ever cried before competing and he finds himself lighter, as though he is made only of air and dreams and...love. His feelings for Victor are changing, he can tell. They are evolving in time with his skating, expanding, daring, bursting free. Yuuri skates and makes mistakes and gets up again, his mark oddly warm under the costume. 

A quadruple flip is something he would have never dared to try only one year ago. But he has changed and this is for Victor. To show him that he will always be able to surprise him. To prove to Victor and himself that he is worth it.

It is over in a flash and he is standing under the glaring lights, applause crashing around him like waves. He has eyes only for Victor, he always will. 

“Victor! I did great, right?”

Victor’s eyes are crystal clear under the lights, his gaze soft. It takes a breath, the space of an inhale, and Victor is all around him. 

It is Yuuri’s first kiss. The feeling of someone else’s lips on his is foreign and slightly odd. But Victor’s eyes are like ocean water and then he is closing them, pushing closer. Yuuri can feel his hand cradling the back of his head as they fall. His heart lurches up as his brain catches up with what is happening.

_ Victor is kissing him. Him. _

There is warmth, sloshing everywhere filling him up to the brim and Yuuri briefly, stupidly, wonders if a person can die of this, of this constant trembling of the heart.

He is vaguely aware of people clapping and cheering, of the cold of the ice against his back, but his vision is filled with Victor’s soft smile. The smile that it is not meant for the public, so private, and for that much more precious. 

“This is the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you surprised me.”

It comes out as a whisper, Victor’s cheeks redder, and it curls around Yuuri’s heart, like a caress.

**

The moment he is done with the podium Yuuri is rushing to the locker room, his heart thundering against his ribcage. He needs to know. His hands are trembling as he removes his jacket and then his undershirt. Something dilates and flutters behind his sternum.

Small leaves have spurted from his three dots, tender like spring gems, black like ink against his collarbone. Yuuri lets the tears flow, tears of relief, tears of joy. 

Of all the people he has met, of all those who have passed him by, the only one who matters, the one who has given him his life back, has turned out to be his one and only soulmate. 

He wonders if Victor will check his mark, if that was his first thought too. Anxiety licks at him like a diligent dog - what if Victor is disappointed? He did kiss him out there but…

Yuuri forces himself to breath through the fog descending on his mind. His shaky fingers trace the lines of his new mark. Love is such an obscure concept to understand and to grasp. However, if he thinks about Victor the vagueness clears. Love is when Victor meets him halfway, when he corrects the lines of his Ina Bauer for the unpteenth time, when he sits by his side free of judgement and full of support.

_ Breathe _ , Yuuri instructs himself. Slowly he unwinds, until he is not shaking anymore and he simply wants to be close to Victor, to feel his presence, to know that they are still on the same path.

**

They take photos together before getting back to the hotel - Phichit, Chris, Leo and all the others. It feels good to be part of a group like this. 

Yuuri has never been good at making friends, with the exception of Yuko, Takeshi, and surprisingly Phichit. That had been a gloomy moment of his life, back in Detroit, and Yuuri had wanted nothing more than to keep to himself, shielded from the rest of the world that seemed to rush forward too fast, leaving him behind. But Phichit hadn’t been of the same advice and had patiently worked at prising open his reserves. Yuuri is immensely grateful for that. 

Victor is there too, smiling at the camera, his hands never leaving Yuuri’s shoulders or waist. It feels warm and comforting. It makes Yuuri’s heart skip a beat or two every time.

**

By the time they head back to the hotel Yuuri still hasn’t had the chance to be alone with Victor and his feelings are getting knotted up inside of him - threads tangling and worries snaking their way around his tender heart. 

Beijing is still bustling, even at this hour of the night, and their taxi makes its way to the hotel slowly. Victor is chattering away about training and quadruple flips, but Yuuri has to concentrate on keeping his emotions in check and forcing himself to breathe and he is not listening. Will Victor talk about the kiss once they are back in their rooms? He is not sure he could be brave enough to breach the topic himself.

“Earth calls Yuuri. Your coach is talking to you and you are not even listening!”

Victor all but pouts and Yuuri feels his cheeks heating up as the thought that the other man looks adorable like this speeds through his mind. 

“S-sorry! I am a bit tired.”

Victor’s eyebrow knot in a frown. For an instant Yuuri wishes nothing more than to be able to wipe it away. But right now he doesn’t have the means to do that, all he can think of are those leaves, tiny and new.

**

Yuuri changes in the bathroom and is under the covers in the blink of an eye. His heart is thumping so fast in his ribcage that it is making him dizzy. The water stops running in the bathroom and Yuuri knows the moment of truth is approaching. There is no way he can keep avoiding it for much longer.

Blanket raised up to his nose, he watches as Victor quietly makes his way to the bed. His voice is small, like a child’s, when he speaks. 

“Was...was it a bad surprise?”

It is rare to hear Victor so uncertain, it makes something ache in the corner of his heart where important dreams are. He can’t help noticing that Victor has a towel around his neck, blocking his mark from view. Yuuri’s fingertips tingle with the impulse to reach out and grab it.

“N-no...it wasn’t. I just…”

“Did I misread something, Yuuri?”

He thinks of his mark, of all the stories he has heard. There is no way Victor’s mark hasn’t changed, is there? He knows too well that he isn’t brave enough to ask just yet, but Victor is looking at him, waiting, and the decision forms in his mind as easy as breathing.

“No, you didn’t...I...can I kiss you again?”

Victor’s smile is like the early morning light, there all at once and so fresh it stings the heart.

 

**_3-Spreading wings_ **

 

The rink feels colder than usual, a new chill settling on his skin now that Victor isn’t here. It scares him, it glues him to the spot. 

He did the right thing letting his coach go, Yuuri is well aware of that, but he also knows that he still hasn’t gotten to a place where he feels confident enough to stand on his own. Surely he is miles ahead if compared to where he was last year and he has worked hard on himself and his skating, but there is still a part of him that is so scared to stand exposed on the ice if Victor is not there to comfort him, to hold him.

One year ago he would have been ashamed of this weakness. Back then he used to think he had to make it through on his own to be of any kind of value. But now...

_ “Even if I’m not here, I’ll always be with you in spirit.” _

Yuuri forces himself to breathe deeply, stretching as he waits for his turn. He still doesn’t know the depth and the contours of what was born between him and Victor, but he can feel the weight of it on his chest, the warmth of it along his veins. He listens to his theme and thinks that he can almost feel Victor’s hand on his shoulder, his breath in his ear.

More than once Yuuri allows himself to trail his fingers where his marks are resting, under his jacket. Will they keep him safe even if Victor is not here?

As he should have expected, it starts off awfully. His traitorous mind has become proficient at making him stumble even when he desires nothing more than to prove to the world that he isn’t a lost cause, that all Victor has taught him has borne fruit. 

It is difficult, though, to keep himself afloat while feeling so bereft. The loneliness he feels without Victor here is different from anything else he has ever experienced. This is what being in love means, then, Yuuri thinks as he forces himself to move through his programme. 

_ “Yuri you’re not weak. No one thinks that either.” _

That is what Victor said that day on the beach. Victor who has smiled and cheered and scolded and hugged him through it all. Victor who has pried open his small heart and set it in motion once again. 

Yuuri can feel something unwind inside of him, Victor’s small gestures sparkling in his memory. Music breathes in and out of him as he glides through the second part, his muscles finally free, his marks burning on his skin. He knows now, that this is love, this programme that he and Victor made together, this trembling of the heart and this singing of the mind. He is the only one who knows and the only one who can treasure this, after all. 

And here it is again, this precious freedom that only the ice seem able to gift him, the ice and Victor. 

**

For a moment there he is sure that his final adventure is going to end just like this and the thing is he isn’t scared per se. If he has to let Victor go then it means that is how things have to be, but in that case he needs to know about his mark. There is no way he can go on without knowing. 

However, fate isn’t done with him just yet. Yuuri takes on this last chance gratefully, but this whole ordeal has cemented the decision to let Victor go after the Grand Prix Final, to set him free. They say that if it is love it will last, right?

**

Victor’s arms around him come as a relief, like a buoy when you’ve been too long in the water and all your muscles are on the brink of giving in. All through the flight back home he just couldn’t stop his thoughts from spiralling out of axis - what would happen to his life once Victor was gone? Would he stand straighter or would he fall harder? What about their marks? What about Victor’s feelings?

“Please be my coach until I retire.”

Victor’s lips are warm on his knuckles 

“I wish you’d never retire.”

He shouldn’t cry in the middle of the airport, but he does and clings to Victor tighter and tighter.  _ I wish I were brave enough to show you. _

**

Once they are back from Russia, Victor begins to sleep in Yuuri’s room. Neither of them really feel the need to discuss it, it just happens. The warmth Victor radiates while they kiss slowly before going to bed came as a surprise. It makes Yuuri feel safe and cared for in a way he never thought he might need. Every morning he battles against sleep to get to wake up in time and get a handful of minutes just to watch Victor sleep. Like a dream made flesh. His soulmate, the one and only.

Victor doesn’t raise the subject of their marks. After the initial hurt and confusion, something goes quiet inside of Yuuri, waiting. Victor must have his reasons. Yuuri has watched him over these past months, he has witnessed his determination, the cold certainty with which Victor attacks everything in life. Might it be that he doesn’t want this to be simply a matter of fate? 

The affection is there for him to see, in every gesture and every gaze. There is no denying it. And if he has Victor’s love, why would signs and words matter?

**

Barcelona is thrumming with lights, that’s the first thing Yuuri notices. It speaks to him in a way he wasn’t expecting. It makes him bolder.

“Can we go sightseeing?”

Before Victor there has been no hand holding, no strolling leisurely around just for the pleasure of exploring a new place with someone else, someone dear. If he thinks about it, life before Victor is something very far away now. Sure, without his past he wouldn’t be who he is today, and yet it all seems quite opaque, seen from where he is standing now. 

Before Victor, love was something that happened to other people. Now, though, it is something he can touch. It’s right there, in Victor’s hand around his wrist as he drags him around town.

The idea of the ring doesn’t come out of the blue, and really the fact that Victor’s birthday is coming up is just an excuse, and a lousy one at that. 

Before leaving for the Grand Prix Final, the last step in this beautiful journey that Yuuri knows all too well has to end, he had been thinking about marks and symbols. You don’t have a say on your soulmate mark, it just happens to you. It might morph even if your feelings are not there yet; it is just  _ disconnected  _ from the heart.

Before giving Victor the chance to go, before setting him free, Yuuri wants to give him something he has chosen, just like he has chosen this love that blossomed through the cracks of his heart.

_ Good luck charm _ is quite a coward choice of name, but it is better than nothing.This is as far as Yuuri will allow himself to go for now. He still doesn’t think he has any right over Victor, any right to tie him down. 

His hands are trembling, his thundering heart covering up the voices of the Christmas carols being sung just a few paces away. 

“Thank you, Victor for everything you’ve done.”  _ For everything you’ve shown me, for our kisses, for our friendship, for this hope you planted in me. _

His heart lodges in his throat as Victor slides the companion ring on his finger. Once more the Russian man doesn’t voice his thoughts about their kisses, their marks. 

The golden bands glint under the city lights, Victor smiles so softly that it pierces through Yuuri like a blade. Surely this can be enough, regardless of those marks that fate stamped on them the moment they came to this world.

Dinner is a loud affair and Yuuri is pretty sure his cheeks will catch fire because of how much he is blushing. As people recount his stunt at last year’s banquet, he realizes something, though. If this had happened a few months ago, he would have been mortified, and relentless in his battle against himself. He would have considered it all a proof of how unworthy he was. Now, though, surrounded by people he has grown to know, with Victor laughing and smiling at his side, those rings on their fingers...Yuuri feels like a different person. Sure, he is embarrassed, but mostly he is stunned by how bold he had managed to be, how Victor and he had gravitated towards each other almost effortlessly.

When Victor speaks about engagement rings Yuuri knows that he has read the signs right. That it doesn’t matter if he will never get to see Victor’s mark, it doesn’t matter what will happen after the Grand Prix Final. 

In that moment he knows that Victor’s feelings are real, just as his own.

**

“Did you mind?”

Victor’s voice carries heavily through the silence that has settled over them the moment they stepped into the room. Everything feels so charged, as if it is the world itself is about to snap. 

“W-what do you mean?”

“The engagement bit.”

Victor is looking straight at him, clear eyes darker with something Yuuri cannot decipher. 

“I...I don’t mind. It…”

He has to squeeze his eyes shut, there is no way he can say the second half of the sentence looking at Victor.

“It made me happy.”

“That’s good, then. I just want to make you happy, Yuuri.”

“Victor, I…”

Victor moves over quietly, his finger is warm when it presses over Yuuri’s lips.

“Show it to me.”

Yuuri blinks against the surprise and the way its heart leaps in his ribcage. He doesn’t have to ask what Victor means.

His fingers are trembling as he struggles to pull off his jumper, every nerve inside of him is tingling, fear and hope and love jostling around in his mind like warring knights. The room is warm but he shivers bone-deep as he bares his skin. He doesn’t lower his gaze on his mark, he simply looks at Victor watching him with rapt interest.

“Beautiful.”

It is an exhale, so soft Yuuri is not even sure he has heard it right. And then Victor’s fingertips are right there, tracing the contours of those small, fresh leaves. 

“Y-you too now.”

The words feel like stones on Yuuri’s tongue, but he is relieved he has managed to let them out. By now he is sure that what they feel for each other is real, irrespectively of their marks. Yet, he needs to know before tomorrow’s short programme. 

Victor doesn’t reply, he simply smiles and begins to undress. This is the first time he is doing it so deliberately in front of him and Yuuri is rooted to the spot, his blood rushing so fast that he feels as though his whole body is dilating. Victor’s shirt flutters to the ground and he turns, giving his back to Yuuri. 

It’s there. That small circle with more meaning hidden in itself than the whole world. A new line has blossomed from the bottom of it. It stretches down between Victor’s shoulder blades, small leaves spurting from it like ink drops against the whiteness of the skin.

Yuuri is not sure he is breathing, not sure he will ever be able to function properly now that he knows that the one person fate has chosen for him is the only one he has ever truly loved.

 

**_4-Flying_ **

 

There’s a new layer under his skin, Yuuri feels as he moves through the programme. Something soft and strong at the same time, a shield and a caress. His lips are still tingling from the kisses he and Victor have shared, skin against skin, Victor’s fingertips going back to his mark over and over. His ring a reassuring and already familiar weight around his finger.

_ “Don’t you want to see me landing a quadruple flip, Victor?” _

He has pushed so hard to get to where is now; he has driven himself to exhaustion more times than he can possibly count just to make sure he is going to leave without regrets. This is the moment he has been waiting, the moment to show the world what he has become, what his love for Victor has helped him achieve.

The coldness of the ice the moment he touches the ground to keep himself standing burns him right to the core. He has failed after all, he has failed all those who have put faith in him, he...panic rises up so fast it makes his head spin and he just can’t keep back the tears, he just...can’t. 

Victor doesn’t leave his side, his arms around his shoulders a constant reminder that he is just there, but Yuuri’s feelings come muffled, as though they have been pressed under a bell jar.

**

“Let’s end it here.”

What else can he say? He has to cut Victor free, doesn’t he? He’s better off retiring and this love...what can this love ever mean? It’ll be just an hindrance to Victor once he’ll get back on the ice and that...Yuuri will not allow himself to trap Victor like that.

“How can you tell me to return to the ice while saying you are retiring?”

Victor’s words are hard and sharp, like knives, like broken hopes. They wrap around Yuuri’s heart and squeeze painfully. This is not what he had expected.

“And this?” Victor all but shouts, his hand pressed hard against Yuuri’s chest, right over his mark.

“What does…”

“It has everything to do with it, Yuuri. It is just a mark, yes, but what about the feeling underneath? Do you think I can just go and leave you behind? Is that the trust you put in my feelings for you?”

“Victor…”

“When will you believe that you are worth loving, that you’re worth the whole world to me?”

Yuuri blinks. This is the first time Victor has ever shouted like this to him, the first time he has truly laid himself bare. Slowly he raises his hand, fingers softly brushing Victor’s hair. The other man doesn’t push him away and Yuuri takes it as a good sign. He has slipped big time and he needs to fix this.

“I...can I tell you something?”

Victor doesn’t reply, he simply nods.

“Love...to me love, before you, wasn’t really something real. I never felt this much and I thought I would never experience it. Then you came and...it scared me, Victor. I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to live it as I was supposed to, I was afraid...to lose it all, to lose you.”

Victor huffs, his hand finally coming up to Yuuri’s cheek. 

“All this fear is going to paralyze you, Yuuri.”

“But I want to keep moving, when it comes to you, to us…”

“Then let’s not speak about retiring, let’s wait until after tomorrow’s competition and...remember that nothing is ever going to change this.”

Victor’s lips are firm and gentle at the same time. Yuuri allows himself to draw him closer, until their falling backwards on the bed, his heart thrumming to a new rhythm. 

**

For more than half of his life he has simply tried to catch up with Victor, like a child following a guiding star. But now he has grown and he pours it into this programme he has revised on his own, in the precision and strength of his jumps, in the newly found certainty of his heart. 

_ Thank you for bringing me all the way here, Victor. _

His body contracts and breathes, it flows like water and it hardens like stone. And all the while there is this light, burning brighter and brighter, inside, where no one but Victor can see.

_ I don’t want it to end here, Victor. _

**Epilogue**

Life and love - two words, two universes, Victor thinks as he watches Yuuri skate to that song, the song he picked one year ago, the one that ended up connecting them deeper than he could have ever expected. Two universes that he would have missed if it wasn’t for the man skating in front of him.

_ Sento una voce che piange lontano _

_ Anche tu, sei stato forse abbandonato? _

He had learnt to count only on himself, to carve up a place for his passions and for his sorrows with his own hands. All is life it had been like that, until Yuuri, that is. It didn’t even take him long before he begun to fall for those kind eyes, for that fearful but resourceful heart.

Yuuri makes mistakes, falls, and gets up again. Yuuri grows and blossoms at a speed that makes Victor’s head spin. Yuuri is all Victor has ever wanted to love and cherish.

Of course he had ran to check his mark the moment the results of the China cup were announced. He had been certain to find it morphed, it had to be. Despite his many adventures, Victor had never met love, the real one, the one that takes you and shakes you hard, down to the bone. However, he was certain that his feelings for Yuuri had morphed from care and friendship to something different way before. 

That line, those leaves, they didn’t come as a surprise, for many other parts of him had changed since he had began to fall in love with Yuuri, still it was a sight that made his heart skip a bit nevertheless. 

His mark had been unblemished for so long, his life so lonely, that Victor was almost certain nothing or anyone would have been able to change that.

_ Le tue mani, le tue gambe, _

_ le mie mani, le mie gambe, _

_ e i battiti del cuore _

_ si fondono tra loro _

Skating with Yuuri is undiluted elation. It feels like the first time he set foot on a rink over and over - the thrill of battling gravity, the grace that spreads through muscles, the heart that pours out on the ice. He had never thought pair skating could make him feel this much.

As the music climbs up his legs, under his skin, and curls around his heart, Victor thinks that also his first time with Yuuri was like that, like skating, the pure wonder of uncovering his whole body, the reverence of entering him, oh so slowly. The desire to have Yuuri take him too. 

He remembers the awe that made him hold his breath as Yuuri’s marked morphed with each one of his movements, every thrust and every caress. The leaves grew bigger and a small flower spread over Yuuri’s skin. It felt like witnessing the birth of the world.

Victor lifts Yuuri up, watches him bend his spine like a flower and a shiver runs down his spine at the thought of the flower on Yuuri’s chest and the matching one on his back, the ones that their love and their entwined souls painted on their skin.

_ Partiamo insieme _

_ Ora sono pronto _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Send over your prompts [here](http://bluecloudsupabove.tumblr.com/ask)


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